Thankful Thursday

TGIT!  One more day of work and then I'm off for three days.  It's only Thursday morning but I'm already counting the hours until the days end.

It's been a crazy ass week with more twists and turns than normal.  It started Monday when one of my new hires decided to turn down the job.  In the same vein, on Tuesday I discovered another of the new hires was ineligible because he'd already accepted a job at a higher level in another department.  It would have been nice if the other area had let us know.  So back to the assessment results I went to make new offers to two other individuals. Both were so excited to hear from me...so no worries that they will decide to turn it down.  Definitely a reason to be thankful.

Also on Monday, my friend and co-worker D called to say that her sister had passed away on Sunday.  Her sister S retired from our office less than 10 years ago, and although she'd had significant health concerns for many years, it was a shock.  She'd been in the hospital for several weeks; the family was preparing to help her move into a care facility, when she simply passed away.  While her death is a huge loss to her family and friends, S did not want to be dependent, so in some ways her sudden release from her pain is a blessing.

We had a meeting on Tuesday afternoon to discuss our upcoming move.  Our building is going to be renovated to the most recent retrofit guidelines called Workplace 2.0.  Basically we'll be living in cube farms, with about 30-45 square feet of space per workstation, slightly larger for supervisors like myself.  Storage in the cubicles will be very limited....since we have computers we're paperless, right?  For now, though we're being moved into space in our lower level.  It has the very old furniture we had when I first started here 17 years ago.  The space has a low ceiling and with dark blue cubicle walls that are 64" high, it's going to seem dark.  There are positives though...I'll have a window for the first time in years in the swing space and when the renovations are complete, it's going to seem so bright and open we'll probably have less complaints.

Yesterday, my boss was being his usual annoying self.  I won't get into it here but by the end of the day I'd had to work with his boss and her admin assistant to do work he ought to have done.  It's a well-known secret that he's about to retire...it's just a matter of when.  I pretty sure it's down to days rather than months and for that I'm thankful.  We're pretty sure we know who will be replacing him and that individual is known for being very capable and decisive.

Since this is Thursday morning, I'm not sure what today will bring.  But I know where I'll be tomorrow.  My younger brother R and I are heading to Alberta to help celebrate our older brother M's 65th birthday on Saturday.

Although we've got a 7 hour drive (each way), we'll be able to share the driving, and I know we'll have no trouble passing the time talking about his family, work, and mine.

It's been nearly 7 years since we've seen M (at our Dad's funeral in 2008) and I'm so excited about getting together with him and his family.  There is going to be lots of laughter...we gotta give the old dinosaur a hard time...lots of stories and reminiscing.

This is a photo of M when he was only 13 months old.  I would tell you his smile looks just the same.

I definitely have a lot to be thankful for...most of all for family and good friends.

Farewell my friend

Today, being Friday, I would normally find a funny cartoon or image from the internet to share with you.  But today is not a funny day.

Instead I want to tell you about someone very special.  You know those times when you meet someone and you know instantly you'd be friends, but because of distance or other circumstances that connection is limited by both time and opportunity.  S was one of those people in my life.

She and I work for the same organization; she in Winnipeg and I here in Regina.  Up until a few years ago, our paths would not have crossed. But when I became a supervisor, one of my "other assigned" responsibilities is to be involved in various hiring processes.  S is or rather was the advisor for these processes.

We first met about five years ago when I was new in my position and totally (and I mean completely) terrified of messing up a process because I knew very little.  S came to my rescue; she was available for all of my stupid questions and never made me feel like an idiot. She was expecting her first child at the time.  When the process was finally complete, she had given birth to her son and I sent an outfit to welcome him and to say thank you for all of her help.

Since that time I've been part of other processes and when S wasn't available to us, I missed her knowledge and expertise.  She was reassigned as advisor back to our office about six months ago and late last fall when I started another process to replace one of my staff, it was wonderful to work with her again.

We had numerous chats on the telephone and many e-mails.  It was as if we had never had a break in our conversations.  I was so excited for her when she told me she was expecting her second child.  The last e-mail I had from S was received on December 11.  I won't tell you what was in it, but it both made me laugh and reminded me that my work was appreciated.  That is the kind of person S was. I'm so thankful that I kept the e-mail and tucked it away in a personal folder to re-read on days when I feel less than inspired.

You see, yesterday we got an e-mail notification from S's boss that she had passed away in hospital on Wednesday afternoon.  She was surrounded by family and friends when she and her unborn child, a daughter, passed.  It was a shock to all of us who knew her in the Regina office.  It's heartbreaking to know that her family and especially her young son will be without her, and sad for us as we will miss her wisdom and her caring spirit.  I will miss her not only as a colleague but as a friend.  I only hope she knew how much she meant to me.

If you can please hug a friend today, or send a note or call someone far away. Life is not always fair and sometimes we don't get a second chance.

Reunited

Aunt A, Aunt E, Mom, Uncle B

Friday morning, the last of my mother's siblings passed away.  Aunt E was a character, a cigarette smoking, beer drinking, strongly opinionated woman with a mouth to match.  Apparently she had a butterfly tattoo, something I never knew before today, but doesn't surprise me.

She married at the age of 17 by eloping with her high-school sweetheart.  They were still married at her passing but haven't lived together for many years.  Aunt E had a stroke a few years after my my mom's and was eventually moved to a nursing home in her hometown.

She and her husband W adopted a son about 40 years ago.  About 20 years later, they took in their grandson and were raising him when Aunt E became ill.  W took the child and moved nearer to their son, though I understand W has been back in their hometown for a few years.

In the early '70's they won a significant prize in the Irish Sweepstakes and used the money to purchase his family's farm and build a house on the property.  I recall it the entire interior was painted yellow and she had a sunken living room with deep purple shag rug.  It still looked the same the last time I was there a dozen years ago.

It was in this house where she had her first stroke.  Instead of calling an ambulance W dragged Aunt E down the exterior stairs, basically a ladder as the home's exterior was never entirely finished, and drove her to the hospital. Later when he took her back home, she was limited to the bedroom, hallway and kitchen as she was in a wheelchair.  He did, at least, build a ramp so he could bring her in and out of the house.

However, her health declined because she wasn't getting the care she needed at home and she had another stroke.  After a brief recovery she moved to an assisted living apartment and soon after to the nursing home.  I believe Aunt E lived in the nursing home for at least 7-8 years as she was a patient when Dad was moved there in 2006.

For years she ran the canteen at the nursing home. Everyday after lunch, she would pull herself along the railing with her good arm from her room to the little store near the front door of the home.  I'm not sure she made many sales.  Most of the patients were either non-ambulatory or unable to recall how to get there and her often grouchy demeanor was a bit off-putting for most people.

My mom, actually our entire family, didn't particularly like W and it only got worse as the years went on.  As a result, we didn't see Aunt E often, usually only on Christmas Eve.  She and mom kept in touch by telephone and when mom passed I think she felt very much alone.  By this point she and W were married in name only, her son was "away working", and she had no access to her grandson.

But she managed to thrive at the home, because she got the care she needed, as well as the social interaction with others. A friend of mine, told me on Facebook, "I liked her, we got along really well.  She always wanted a beer and a cigarette after her bath, and wanted me to join her too! LOL"

I like to think that she and her siblings are now together, Aunt E and Aunt A are having a beer, mom and Uncle B are drinking coffee, all four are puffing away on their cigarettes, and they're talking up a storm.

Rest in peace, Aunt E  Fly free, like your butterfly tattoo and give my mom a hug and kiss for me.

A horrible, no good, very bad day

It was one of those days, when you wish you hadn't bothered to get out of bed, but rather hid beneath the covers until the world went away.

The day started as usual, with my squinting at the clock radio...wishing that there was another half hour before the alarm would sound but knowing it would be going off in a few minutes.  Of course, the cat sitting on my chest knew that too!

On the way to work, the traffic was actually pretty good for a Monday, only a few Sunday drivers left over from the weekend.  When I got to my parking lot I found the entrance was blocked by the garbage truck...annoying...but a few minutes later I was able to get parked and head down the street to the office.

At the office, my boss showed up with a parcel addressed to him, though it should have been sent to one of our staff.  Instead of dropping in the mail room for this person, he gave it to me to deliver.  Again, a slight annoyance but nothing too major.

I delivered the package, headed back to my desk and settled in to handle several messages and e-mails that had come in on Friday.  An hour later I headed to the coffee machine to get a fresh cup of coffee and found....gasp...no coffee.  This is pretty normal in our office; I`ve decided making coffee is a talent shared by a very few people.  Still one more minor annoyance.

As I stood waiting for the fresh pot* to finish one of the staff members came up to me and shared that another staff member (L) had lost his mom this weekend.  L`s mom S retired from our office just four years ago after a 30 year career.  S was 64 years old and died of a heart attack which came without any significant warning signs.

L was in the office this morning clearing his desk of a few items, and I had walked past his desk several times (including on my delivery run).  He and I have worked together for nearly 15 years and at one time, when this was common, we shared a telephone.  The staff member who told me what had happened was concerned because I hadn`t stopped to see L and he had remarked on unusual that was.

I went immediately to see him and found him preparing to leave the office.  We spoke briefly, then he went on his way to make preparations for the memorial service.  I checked with my boss, and found he already knew of her passing as our director had been informed this weekend.  Neither they, nor L`s manager, thought to pass the word along to the rest of the managers.  I was shocked to say the least.  Not only is L a current employee but S was a long-time employee who worked with probably 75-80% of the current personnel.  Maybe I`m overreacting but I think it was insensitive and disrespectful.

Perhaps some of my anger is misplaced.  Perhaps I should have stopped by L`s desk this morning to say hello and check in.  I didn`t because there were people at his desk (now I understand why) and I had a stack of messages to handle that seemed more pressing.  

It`s also strengthens my resolve to retire as soon as I can financially afford it.  No one can know what tomorrow may bring, so living in the moment, and letting go of the minor annoyances is my goal.   L told me that S`s last words were something to the effect ``I laughed harder than I`ve laughed all my life``, just before she collapsed.  I think that`s not a bad thing to be thinking before the lights turn out for the last time.

RIP S - I know your family and friends will miss you.

*If I don`t wait for the fresh coffee, all the scavengers other coffee drinkers will get to it first and I`ll end up making another pot.